'Dieting Under Stress' A5 Greeting Card
Dieting Under Stress - 10 Rules On How to Combine a Successful Diet with Life as a Normal Human Being!
An ideal greeting card for that friend who is always on a diet!
1) If you eat something and no one sees you then the food has no calories.
2) When you eat with someone else, the calories do not count if they eat more than you do.
3) If you drink a diet cola with a chocolate bar, the diet cola cancels the calories in the chocolate.
4) Broken biscuits contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
5) Food used for medicinal purposes never count
e.g. hot chocolate for relaxation; brandy for fortification; toast and cheesecake as antidepressants.
6) It is recommended that you fatten up everyone around you so that you appear slimmer.
7) Food licked off cutlery or out of a bowl has no calories if you are following a recipe
e.g. butter icing on a cake; the remains of scone mixture; cream for the top of a trifle.
8) TV and cinema food contain no calories as they are part of the whole entertainment package.
9) Foods of the same colour have the same number of calories
e.g. spinach and mint ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate, water and a large gin and tonic.
10) Athletes eat a huge amount of pasta before races like the marathon. It's a myth that you have to run 26 miles to work it off.
One brisk trot around the settee is quite sufficient to wipe out one bowl of spaghetti.
Twice around the living room will use up so much energy that a chocolate bar is required to supplement your sugar level and rebuild your strength.