General Tea Towels

'A Hug' Tea Towel

HUGS, HUGS and more HUGS!!!.Who hasn't experienced the therapeautic value of a hug? Why not give this t-towel to someone too far away for a proper hug.Superb quality and is suitable for use or for hanging on a wall."There's just no doubt about it,We scarcely could survive without it,A hug delights and warms and charms,It must be why God gave us armsHugs are great for fathers and mothers,Sweet for sisters, even for brothers.And chances are some favourite auntsLove them more than plotted plants.Kittens crave them, puppies love them,Heads of state are not above them.A hug can break the language barrierAnd make the dullest day seem merrier.No need to fret about the store of 'emThe more you give, the more there are of 'emSo stretch those arms without delayAnd give someone a hug today!"

'Beware Pirates' Tea Towel

'Beware Pirates' Canal Tea TowelA Skull and Crossbones Tea Towel which says 'Beware Pirates'

'Dieting Under Stress' Tea Towel

Dieting Under Stress - 10 Rules On How to Combine a Successful Diet with Life as a Normal Human Being!Humorous Tea Towel all about dieting................Makes an ideal gift for someone with a sense of humour!1) If you eat something and no one sees you then the food has no calories.2) When you eat with someone else, the calories do not count if they eat more than you do.3) If you drink a diet cola with a chocolate bar, the diet cola cancels the calories in the chocolate.4) Broken biscuits contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.5) Food used for medicinal purposes never counte.g. hot chocolate for relaxation; brandy for fortification; toast and cheesecake as antidepressants.6) It is recommended that you fatten up everyone around you so that you appear slimmer.7) Food licked off cutlery or out of a bowl has no calories if you are following a recipee.g. butter icing on a cake; the remains of scone mixture; cream for the top of a trifle.8) TV and cinema food contain no calories as they are part of the whole entertainment package.9) Foods of the same colour have the same number of caloriese.g. spinach and mint ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate, water and a large gin and tonic.10) Athletes eat a huge amount of pasta before races like the marathon. It's a myth that you have to run 26 miles to work it off.One brisk trot around the settee is quite sufficient to wipe out one bowl of spaghetti.Twice around the living room will use up so much energy that a chocolate bar is required to supplement your sugar level and rebuild your strength.Good Luck!

'I'm Fine Thank You' Tea Towel

I'm Fine Thank You - A Tea Towel which can be used, or pinned on the wall.There is nothing the matter with me,I'm as healthy as can be.I have arthritis in both my kneesAnd when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.Sleep is denied me night after night,But every morning I find I'm alright.My memory is failing, my head's in a spin,But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.How do you know my youth is all spent?Well, my "get up and go" has got up and went.But I really don't mind when I think with a grin,Of all the grand places my "get up" has bin."Old age is golden" I've heard it said,But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed,With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in a cup,My eyes on the table until I wake up.'Ere sleep overtakes me, I say to myself,"Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?"When I was young my slippers were red,I could kick my heels over my head.When I was older my slippers were blue,But I could still dance the whole night through.Now I am old my slippers are black,I walk to the store and puff my way back.I get up each morning and dust off my wits,And pick up the paper and read the "Obits"If my name is still missing I know I'm not dead, So I have a good breakfast- and face what's ahead!"

'I'm Getting Fit!' Tea Towel

I'm Getting Fit! - A great gift for those who "love" the gym! "I must go down to the gym againto the lonely mat and bike,And all I ask is a real good sweatthe same as a ten mile hike. I'll swing those weights I'll flex my pecsI'll jog and step and bend, I'll row like mad I'll pedal hard until I reach the end.With lycra suit my vest and thong I really look the part.Aerobics, yoga, dance and step, are classes yet to start. I'll "strut my stuff" to firm my thighs and flatten my rounded tum, I'll crunch and curl and squeeze and pumpto squash my flabby bum.And when it's all done, my time is up I'll shower off my sweat, then down a pint with bags of crisps undoing all benefit! Hey ho!

'Thanks for Looking After... The Dog" Tea Towel

Thanks for Looking After... The Dog - A perfect gift to say thank you to the dog sitters!Can be used as a Tea Towel or pinned as a wall hanging   "This is a little message and what it wants to say is "thanks" for looking after the dog while we were away.For cleaning up the doggy-doo and walkin' in the rain, for cleaning up the messy food we know it is a pain.But our dog's really grateful and sends you doggy kisses, to remind you of his stay with you while you're wiping up the dishes!

'What Have They Done To Our Words?' Tea Towel

What Have They Done To Our Words? The world of computers has taken many of our familiar, everyday words and given them completely different meanings!Can be used as a Tea Towel or pinned as a wall hanging.A DISC used to be something that slipped when you hurt your back.A WEB was what a spider made and a RAM was a male sheep.A NET was for fishing or to hold your hair in place and a MOUSE was a furry little creature with whiskers.BUGS and VIRUSES were something you caught that made you ill, and CHIP went with fish.A HACKER was someone with a bad cough and a CURSOR was someone with bad language.A LOAD went on a lorry and a BOOT went on your foot.You found builders or caravans on a SITE and you parked your car on a DRIVE.A ZIP held your clothes together and FLOPPY meant limp.You hung your washing ON LINE, you sent a CARD at Christmas, and a DESKTOP was the place for your blotter.You called a butler or a waitress a SERVER and a religious artefact was an ICON.WALLPAPER brighten'd up a room and MOTHERBOARD was mum when she was fed up!Whatever next?

Cockney Rhyming Slang Tea Towel